Most of my dreams start off fairly normal. It's present day, people I know are there, things progress like any other day. At one point, however, they skew off into a whole new direction for a number of unknown reasons. This was one of those dreams.
It started off with me hearing the doorbell ringing, and rushing to see what package the mail man had brought me. Something that admittedly happens two-three times a week and is a daily moment I look forward to. I opened the door to find a new mail man I had never met before with a HUGE pile of packages at his feet. I opened the screen door and he immediately got excited, "Hey there, Alonso! Boy you sure got a large shipment today! Hoo hoo hoo!" I knew this guy was off from the moment I opened the door, but whatever. He's just a friendly mail man.
Before I continue, let's describe this jolly post man: He was roughly six feet tall, pretty chunky like myself but much much older. It didn't occur to me until later, but he had the face of Gene Shalit with white hair and the voice of Rip Taylor. No wonder I was horrified.
Anywho! Being the friendly mail man he is, he decided to help me carry in this huge army of boxes. Before this, however, he had a game he wanted to play. "Guess what you got today!" In this dream I had bought the Ultimate Cut of Watchmen off eBay and it had arrived today. To help me with this he had opened it and given clues as to what the mystery item was. As I'd guess he'd hand me a disc at a time until finally giving me the box to put everything in. Dream me was growing very agitated with this new guy.
After everything was carried in he... decided to say hello to the family. He rushed up to my sister "Oh you look adorable today, Gretchen!" and gave her an awkward hug. "Oh hello, Mrs. Palonso!", he said as he rushed up to her and gave a long... looooong hug. My mom's face proving that she too had no idea who this guy was. I had had enough and rushed to get the nearest thing I could find. I grabbed.... a remote control... and hit him over the head with it, chasing him out of the house. As he was outside he was yelling at us and ran to his mail truck to leave.
Now I have no idea why it was this way in the dream, but he had a piece of paper on the truck with a name and truck number. I made sure to jot those down and contact both the post office and police. Upon further inspection using Google I found the guy was wanted in many states for posing as a postal employee, stalking people and killing them. (I know this is too easy and stupid that he uses the same name for each crime. It's a dream. Go with it.) The police then showed up and told us they not only had found him, but he had been arrested.
Some time passed in the dream and life seemed normal. We had gotten in the car to leave until we noticed behind us was a parked mail truck, blocking us in the driveway. Closing the door to alert my mom Mr. Mail Man appeared in the back seats, hands still bound with some cable tie, talking to us about how it wasn't nice calling to cops.
Oh
From here things begin to get hazy, but the dream then shifted to a typical horror film chase. Killer is stalking prey. Prey is trying to hide in a industrial type location. Prey is... female? Wait a minute, this isn't the mail man chasing her... Oh... He's the partner of the first guy who is now dead? Okay... Let's run with it and see what happens. Things happens, girl avoids him, police show up and kill the guy. As the reporters are interviewing this woman, who I now see to be a 70's Jamie Lee Curtis, she goes into detail about how he had stalked her and her family, how creepy he was for a mail man, how she beat him, etc.
Then that was it. No word on me, my family, Shalit looking mail man. The audience (my mind) had gotten bored with the current story, so I was recast as Jamie Lee Curtis and the main villain was killed off screen.
The kicker? I go onto Youtube and what do I see in the side ad?
CURRRRRRRRTTIISSSSSSSSSS
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